Why Herpes Dating Sites Saved Me from the Abyss

The day my test results glowed positive for HSV-2, the world didn’t end—it just turned grayscale. Friends whispered "It’s just a skin condition!" while instinctively pulling back from shared drinks. Matches on Tinder evaporated when I disclosed, one sneering "Try PositiveSingles—disease people belong together." So I did. The herpes dating site’s pricing stung, but for the first time since diagnosis, I breathed freely. No disclosure scripts. No fear of screenshots ending up on Reddit’s r/Tinder. Just humans connecting in their unvarnished truth.

Then I stumbled upon Ella Dawson’s viral manifesto: "Why I Will Never Support Herpes or STI Dating Sites." Her claim that these spaces "make HSV seem terrifying" struck like a betrayal. As someone drowning in society’s judgment, I saw what Dawson refuses to: herpes dating sites aren’t the problem. They’re the life rafts we cling to while she lectures us about the storm from shore.

The Stigma Was Here Long Before Herpes Dating Sites

Ella Dawson’s insistence that platforms like PositiveSingles "create isolation" isn’t just wrong—it’s a grotesque rewriting of history. Isolation wasn’t manufactured by herpes dating sites; it was the scalding reality they interrupted. Let’s autopsy her delusion:

"Without these sites, society would naturally evolve toward acceptance!"

Tell that to the 24-year-old woman who posted her HSV+ status on Hinge last Tuesday. By dawn, her Instagram was a graveyard of corpse emojis and DMs screaming "Keep your diseased cunt away from decent men." Or the father in Michigan who lost custody rights because his ex-wife convinced a judge that HSV-2 rendered him a "hygienic threat" to their children. These aren’t rare tragedies—they’re the rotting foundation of a society where 67% carry HSV-1 and 13% HSV-2 (PLOS ONE, 2019), yet 62% still brand us "dirty" (STI Journal, 2022). The virus may be benign, but the cultural malignancy is metastatic.

Herpes dating sites didn’t birth this bigotry—they are triage tents erected on a battlefield Dawson pretends doesn’t exist. Her claim that they "stigmatize" is like blaming a rape crisis center for "creating fear of sexual violence." It’s not merely illogical; it’s morally bankrupt.

"But you should fight stigma by dating normies!" she cries. Fine. Let’s play Dawson’s sacrificial game:

Spend months mustering courage to disclose.

Risk doxxing, job loss, or lawsuits (yes, 12 U.S. states allow civil suits for "non-disclosure").

Endure 83% fewer matches (Social and Personal Relationships, 2021) and the soul-crushing chorus of "You’re brave but…"

For what? So Ella Dawson can clap from the sidelines while we bleed out on the altar of her "awareness" fantasy? Herpes dating sites exist because your "inclusive mainstream" is a slaughterhouse. We refuse to be your pedagogical martyrs.

If these platforms vanished tomorrow, stigma wouldn’t evaporate—it would feast on our corpses. So spare us your condescending lectures about "integration." Until you dismantle the laws that criminalize us, the employers who fire us, and the dating apps that let mobs hunt us, herpes dating sites aren’t the problem. They’re the only thing standing between us and your utopian gas chamber of "progress."

Dating With Herpes: The Brutal Math of Mainstream Platforms

Dawson insists we should "normalize herpes in mainstream dating." Tell that to:

The 24-year-old who swallowed pills after 37 consecutive Tinder rejections

The man sued under California’s §1708.5 for kissing a date after disclosure

My own inbox: "You’re brave but… I can’t risk it" (translation: You’re contaminated)

A 2021 Social and Personal Relationships study confirms: Profiles mentioning HSV get 83% fewer matches. Dating someone with herpes remains society’s ultimate taboo—not because of specialized sites, but because of deep-seated disgust.

Why Herpes Dating Sites ≠ Segregation

Dawson’s hypocrisy is staggering:

She celebrates Grindr for creating safe LGBTQ+ spaces

She’d never demand HIV+ people abandon POZ Personals to "educate" the ignorant

Yet herpes dating sites? Suddenly, "You’re self-segregating!"

The difference? Herpes stigma is the last "acceptable" prejudice. We’re told our trauma is overreaction while society:

Forces disclosure laws that criminalize asymptomatic carriers

Lets employers fire HSV+ staff for "hygiene concerns"

Treats us as walking biohazards

But herpes dating sites like PositiveSingles don’t isolate us—they shield us from this violence.

The Unseen Cost of Dawson’s Delusional “Inclusion”

Dawson’s sanctimonious whine that herpes dating sites “prevent normalization” isn’t just wrong, it’s breathtakingly arrogant. Her fairy-tale “normalization” requires:

• Ripping out the legal daggers buried in our backs: 12 states still let a single kiss trigger lawsuits against asymptomatic carriers.

• Shattering Tinder’s complicit silence as screenshot mobs hunt us like diseased prey.

• Torching media narratives that reduce us to pus-filled medical exhibits instead of humans fucking, loving, living.

Until these battlefields are won, her demand we “join mainstream dating” isn’t inclusion—it’s sacrificial lambing for her ideological vanity. I paid $33.99/month to PositiveSingles not because it’s some fucking paradise, but because it’s a ceasefire. Let’s gut the truth: the herpes dating site is not perfect really. $33.99 monthly to message? Paywalled message after matches? A graveyard of dead profiles after sending a wink? Disappointed.

And yet.

For all its predatory flaws, it gave me what Dawson’s smug theoretical empathy never could: a demilitarized zone. Where “I have herpes” wasn’t a confession extracted under duress, but a nod between survivors. Where my hands didn’t shake over a Bumble keyboard, only to be ghosted mid-disclosure—a rejection so violent it felt like digital disembowelment.

When Dawson dares call this refuge “harmful,” she pisses on:

The mother sentenced to 10 years of celibacy after a Match.com date hissed “Keep your infected cunt away from my friends”The 17-year-old corpse rotting in a bathtub because his first outbreak “proved” he was unlovableMy fucking reality: paying a ransom to breathe without justifying my humanity to your judgmental hordes

Herpes dating sites didn’t create this hellscape—they’re the fucking burn units in Dawson’s self-congratulatory inferno. PositiveSingles isn’t my surrender. It’s the artillery bunker where I heal from your shrapnel. When I crawl back into your warzone? It’ll be because I forged titanium skin here—in this broken, mercenary, necessary trench.

Conclusion: Our Sanctuaries Are Our Battlefields

To Ella Dawson: Your privilege is showing. When you call herpes dating sites "stigma amplifiers," you reveal ignorance of the war we fight daily. These platforms are our trenches—where we heal before marching back into your world to dismantle prejudice.

To my HSV+ kin who is/was living with herpes: Your presence on PositiveSingles isn’t surrender. It’s defiance. Every conversation there whispers: "We are not ashamed."

The day society lets us disclose without fear is the day herpes dating sites die. Until then? We’ll build our lighthouses in the dark.