PositiveSingles Review: Why STI Dating Sites Matter and Critics Are Wrong

When I was first diagnosed with HSV-2, I felt isolated, ashamed, and unsure of where to turn. Mainstream dating apps suddenly seemed like minefields, and the fear of rejection loomed over every potential connection. That’s when someone introduced me to PositiveSingles, an STD dating site. From there, it gave me a sense of belonging and hope when I needed it most.

However, not everyone sees the value in STI dating sites. Critics like Emily DePasse in Why Positive Singles Isn't the Answer for Dating with STIs argue that these platforms perpetuate stigma rather than dismantle it. In this PositiveSingles review, I’ll dismantle those arguments, explain why specialized dating sites are crucial for newly diagnosed individuals, and offer a balanced assessment of the STD dating site's strengths and weaknesses.

Why STI Dating Sites Like PositiveSingles Are Necessary

1. Safe Spaces Reduce Initial Stigma and Isolation

Critics claim that PositiveSingles and similar STD dating sites reinforce segregation. But for someone newly diagnosed, the immediate need isn’t societal revolution—it’s emotional survival.

• Psychological Impact: Studies show that STI diagnoses often trigger depression and anxiety (Sexually Transmitted Infections, 2018). Being in a community of people who understand alleviates this.

• Practical Dating: Disclosing an STI status on mainstream apps can lead to ghosting, harassment, or even public shaming. PositiveSingles removes that fear.

2. The "Integration vs. Segregation" Argument Is Flawed

Some activists (like Ella Dawson in her 2016 “Why I Will Never Support Herpes or STI Dating Sites”) argue that STI dating sites prevent normalization. But this assumes everyone is ready to be an advocate—many just want to date without trauma.

• Not Everyone Wants to Educate: Should a newly diagnosed 22-year-old be forced into uncomfortable disclosures on Tinder, or should they have a choice?

• Parallel to Other Niche Dating Sites: We don’t criticize Christian dating apps for "segregating" from secular ones—why demand that STI-positive people bear the burden of mainstreaming?

(For a deeper rebuttal to Dawson’s argument, see my article: Why Herpes Dating Sites Saved Me From The Abyss.)

A Detailed PositiveSingles Review: An Honest Look at the Pros and Cons

For anyone navigating the complex world of dating with an STI, PositiveSingles presents itself as a sanctuary—a place where disclosure isn't met with rejection, and where the weight of stigma is momentarily lifted. But does it truly deliver on its promises? Having used the platform extensively, I can confidently say that while it fills a crucial gap in the dating market, it is far from flawless.

The Strengths: Where PositiveSingles Shines

What sets PositiveSingles apart from mainstream dating apps is its foundational purpose: creating a judgment-free space for people with STIs. The relief of not having to disclose your status to a match, fearing their reaction, cannot be overstated. For someone like me, who experienced the isolating aftermath of an HSV-2 diagnosis, this alone made the platform invaluable.

Beyond dating, PositiveSingles functions as a support network. The forums and blogs provide a space for users to share their experiences of condition, seek advice, and find comfort in knowing they’re not alone. Unlike generic dating apps, this STD dating site acknowledges the emotional toll of an STI diagnosis and attempts to address it. There are even medically vetted resources, including STD Q&As and clinic locators, which add a layer of credibility often missing from other dating sites.

The premium membership, while costly ($33.99 / month starting), unlocks features that make the experience significantly better. The ability to message freely, hide your profile from certain users, and access advanced search filters transforms the platform from a restricted trial into a fully functional dating service. For those serious about finding connections, upgrading is almost a necessity.

Is PositiveSingles' premium membership worth the investment?

The premium membership unlocks PositiveSingles' true potential, transforming it from a limited trial into a fully empowered dating experience. As one satisfied Apple Store reviewer notes: "The paid version finally lets you actually use the site properly - being able to message anyone makes all the difference." Another premium user shares: "The advanced filters helped me find compatible matches much faster."

With a paid subscription, you gain full messaging capabilities - no more being blocked from contacting interesting matches. You can see who's viewed your profile, giving valuable insight into who might be interested. The ability to browse anonymously while still tracking your own profile visitors creates a comfortable balance of privacy and opportunity.

Premium members also benefit from enhanced search filters, allowing precise matching by location, interests and other important criteria. The "Hide from Members" feature is particularly valuable, giving you complete control over your visibility - crucial for those concerned about privacy in their local community.

While the subscription cost may seem significant, these premium features dramatically improve your ability to make meaningful connections. As many users discover, the investment often pays off in better matches and more productive conversations.

The Shortcomings: Where PositiveSingles Falls Short

For all its strengths, PositiveSingles suffers from several critical flaws that prevent it from being the ideal solution it could be.

First, the platform feels outdated. The iOS app, in particular, is sluggish and poorly optimized, with a user interface that lags far behind modern dating apps. Navigation is unintuitive, messages sometimes fail to load, and the overall experience feels clunky—a stark contrast to the seamless swiping mechanisms of apps like Tinder or Hinge.

Then there’s the issue of engagement. A significant portion of profiles appear inactive, with many users last seen months or even years ago. Even among active members, response rates are frustratingly low. Some speculate that bots or abandoned accounts inflate the user count, though the company denies this. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: matches that go nowhere, leaving paying subscribers questioning whether their investment is worth it.

The paywall is another major drawback. Free users face severe limitations—they can’t send messages, see who viewed their profile, or even confirm whether their messages have been read. This pay-to-play model has drawn criticism in Apple Store reviews, with users complaining that the free version is essentially useless. One reviewer aptly noted, "You match with someone but can’t even message them unless you pay. What’s the point?"

Geographic limitations further diminish the platform’s appeal. In smaller cities or rural areas, the user base is often sparse, with matches scattered across unreasonably large distances. For those outside major metropolitan areas, the pool of potential connections can feel discouragingly small.

Finally, while many of the community spaces are supportive, some chatrooms and forums devolve into negativity or, worse, inappropriate behavior. The moderation is inconsistent, and while most discussions remain constructive, the occasional toxic thread or overly aggressive user can sour the experience.

Conclusion: STI Dating Sites Are a Lifeline, Not a Problem

The idea that PositiveSingles "perpetuates stigma" misunderstands the reality of living with an STI. For many, these platforms are the first step toward reclaiming confidence—not a surrender to segregation.

Yes, we should fight for broader societal acceptance. But until that day comes, STD dating sites provide an essential refuge. Instead of shaming them, critics should acknowledge their role in helping people transition from shame to self-acceptance.

Final Verdict: PositiveSingles isn’t perfect, but for those navigating STI dating, it’s often the best option available.