How to Tell If A Guy Is Bisexual: Signs, Science & Understanding Sexual Fluidity
- Erica
- 4 days ago
- 10 min read
Understanding sexual orientation has never been more important than it is today. As society becomes more open and inclusive, many people are seeking clarity—not just about their own identities, but also about the people they care about. One common question that arises, especially in dating or close friendships, is this: how to tell if a guy is bisexual?
Bisexuality is one of the most misunderstood and overlooked sexual orientations. Despite growing visibility, bisexual men often face unique challenges, including invisibility, erasure, and harmful stereotypes. Many people assume that sexual orientation must be either “gay” or “straight,” but human attraction exists on a broad spectrum. That’s why understanding the signs of bisexuality in men requires both sensitivity and a willingness to look beyond binary labels.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll dive deep into the psychological, social, and scientific aspects of male bisexuality. Whether you're someone who’s curious about a friend, wondering about a partner, or exploring your own feelings, our goal is to offer respectful, evidence-based insight. We'll discuss behavioral signs, common myths, research findings, and expert opinions to help you better understand what bisexuality really looks like in men.
Remember, there is no “one-size-fits-all” checklist. Instead, recognizing bisexuality involves observing patterns, understanding the role of sexual fluidity, and respecting each person’s journey and identity.
Let’s start by answering the question at the core of this conversation: what does it mean to be bisexual?
What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?
Before diving into how to tell if a guy is bisexual, it's essential to understand what bisexuality actually means. Misconceptions and outdated stereotypes still surround bisexual men, but modern research and leading LGBTQ+ organizations provide much clearer, science-based definitions.
Defining Bisexuality: More Than Just "Attracted to Both"
According to GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), bisexuality is defined as the capacity for emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction to more than one gender—not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.
The American Psychological Association (APA) echoes this view, stating:
“Bisexual people may experience different kinds and levels of attraction over time. Being bisexual does not imply equal attraction to all genders or any particular pattern of relationships.”
This flexibility is often referred to as sexual fluidity, which plays a major role in how bisexuality is experienced—especially among men. For some bisexual guys, attraction may shift based on personal experiences, life stages, or emotional bonds rather than rigid preferences.
Sexuality as a Spectrum: Kinsey Scale & Klein Grid
To move away from binary labels like “straight” or “gay,” researchers have introduced models that better represent the fluid and diverse nature of sexual orientation.
Kinsey Scale
Developed by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940s, the Kinsey Scale ranks sexual orientation on a scale from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual). Many bisexual men fall somewhere in the middle—such as 2, 3, or 4—indicating varying degrees of attraction to multiple genders.
Kinsey Scale Chart Example
Rating | Description |
0 | Exclusively heterosexual |
1 | Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual |
2–4 | Varying degrees of bisexuality |
5 | Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual |
6 | Exclusively homosexual |
Klein Sexual Orientation Grid
The Klein Grid, developed by Dr. Fritz Klein, expands on Kinsey’s model by measuring seven dimensions of orientation—like sexual attraction, behavior, fantasies, and emotional preference—across three time frames: past, present, and ideal. This multidimensional model helps explain why bisexual men may not conform to simplistic or static labels.
Klein Grid Example Chart
Dimension | Past | Present | Ideal |
Sexual Attraction | M/F | M/F | M/F |
Emotional Preference | M | M/F | F |
Social Preference | F | M/F | M/F |
(M = Male, F = Female)
These models make one thing clear: sexual orientation is not black and white. Bisexuality isn’t just a “middle ground” between being straight or gay—it’s a legitimate identity that can shift and evolve.
Non-Binary Reality: The Truth About Attraction
The truth is that many bisexual men don’t experience attraction in a fixed or equal way. Some might primarily date women but still feel emotional or sexual attraction to men. Others might have periods of same-sex involvement followed by long-term heterosexual relationships. That doesn’t make them “less bi”—it simply reflects the rich, layered experience of living outside binary categories.
In short, understanding how to tell if a guy is bisexual starts with understanding that bisexuality is fluid, nuanced, and valid. There is no universal template or behavior pattern. Labels can be helpful, but they’re not always necessary—or even accurate—for everyone.
Common Signs That a Guy Might Be Bisexual (But Not Definitive)
If you’ve ever wondered how to tell if a guy is bisexual, you’re not alone. Many people look for clues—especially in the early stages of dating or getting to know someone more deeply. However, it’s essential to approach this with caution: there is no universal checklist for bisexual men, and assumptions based on stereotypes can be misleading or even harmful.
That said, there are some behavioral patterns, communication styles, and social cues that may suggest someone is bisexual or exploring their sexuality. These signs should be seen as potential indicators, not proof. The only way to know for sure is through open, respectful conversation.
1. He Speaks Positively About Attraction to More Than One Gender
One subtle yet powerful sign is how a guy talks about attraction. If he openly comments on the attractiveness of people of multiple genders, or says things like “I think attraction is about connection, not gender,” it might suggest a bisexual or fluid orientation.
Example: He might say, “That guy’s style is 🔥,” or “I’ve been into both guys and girls in the past.”
This doesn’t mean he is bisexual—but being open about same-gender attraction without discomfort can be a sign of self-awareness or past exploration.
2. His Social Circle Includes LGBTQ+ Friends or Communities
Bisexual men are often more comfortable in queer spaces or have strong friendships within LGBTQ+ circles. If a guy consistently surrounds himself with bisexual, gay, or queer-identifying people, it may reflect shared identity or values.
Again, this isn’t a confirmation—many straight allies are part of queer communities too—but it can signal a safe and affirming environment for sexual exploration.
3. He Has Had Past Experiences With Other Men
Some bisexual guys have a history of same-sex encounters—either romantic, emotional, or sexual. These might be mentioned casually in conversation, or referenced in terms of "a past phase" or “college experimentation.”
Keep in mind: having had a same-sex experience doesn’t automatically mean someone is bisexual, but it may indicate attraction that goes beyond curiosity or social experimentation.
4. His Online Activity Reflects Broader Attraction
In today’s digital world, social media can offer subtle clues. Some signs may include:
Following bisexual creators, influencers, or LGBTQ+ dating accounts
Liking posts that celebrate male beauty, same-gender relationships, or sexual fluidity
Using platforms like Reddit or TikTok to engage with bisexual-themed discussions
These behaviors suggest openness and interest, but they’re never conclusive.
5. He Talks About Sexuality as a Spectrum
Many bisexual men express discomfort with rigid labels like “straight” or “gay,” and may say things like:
“I don’t believe in putting people in boxes.”
“I think sexuality is fluid.”
“I’ve liked people regardless of gender.”
This philosophical or emotionally mature view of attraction can be a meaningful indicator of bisexual identity.
Comparison Table: Behaviors vs. Interpretation
Behavior / Sign | Possible Meaning (but not definitive) |
Talks positively about attraction to men & women | May be bisexual or open to non-binary attraction |
Close with LGBTQ+ friends | Feels comfortable in queer spaces; may share identity |
Mentions past experience with men | Could indicate bisexual exploration or past relationships |
Follows bi/gay content online | Interest in queer culture, could reflect personal identity |
Says “sexuality is a spectrum” | Likely values fluidity; could identify as bisexual |
Important Note:
While these signs may point toward bisexuality, they are not definitive proof. Some straight men display these behaviors without being bisexual, just as some bisexual men may not show any of these traits outwardly. The only reliable way to know someone’s orientation is when they choose to share it themselves.
Understanding how to tell if a guy is bisexual starts with empathy, patience, and the ability to create safe spaces for self-expression—not by stereotyping or labeling others too quickly.
What Science Says: Research and Statistics on Male Bisexuality
Understanding how to tell if a guy is bisexual requires not only social insight but also a look at scientific and demographic data. In recent years, growing research has shed light on the increasing visibility of bisexual men—especially among younger generations.
Population Data: Bisexuality Is More Common Than You Think
According to the 2022 Gallup Poll, bisexual people now represent the largest subgroup within the LGBTQ+ community in the United States. Among LGBTQ+ adults:
57% identify as bisexual
23% as gay
13% as lesbian
5% as transgender
2% as other (queer, asexual, etc.)
A 2023 study from the Pew Research Center further confirms this shift:
“People under age 30 are significantly more likely to identify as bisexual than any previous generation. Roughly 13% of Gen Z adults identify as bisexual.”
This is particularly visible among men. While historically more women have reported bisexuality, the number of self-identifying bisexual men is steadily rising.
Generational Differences in Bisexual Identity
The Williams Institute at UCLA found that among LGBTQ+ men:
About 40% identify as gay
Around 30% identify as bisexual
The rest fall under queer, pansexual, or questioning categories
The highest percentage of bisexual male identification is found in the 18–24 age group.
This generational trend supports the idea that many younger men are more comfortable identifying outside binary sexual norms, aligning with the concept that sexuality is a spectrum.
Neuroscience & Bisexual Male Attraction
In terms of biological research, a number of studies using functional MRI (fMRI) have shown that bisexual men exhibit measurable arousal responses to both male and female erotic stimuli.
One notable study published in Psychological Science (2015) found that:
“Bisexual men showed significant genital and neural responses to sexual stimuli of more than one gender, confirming physiological bisexuality rather than patterned behavior alone.”
A follow-up review in JAMA Psychiatry (2020) echoed these findings, providing strong neurophysiological evidence that bisexual attraction exists and is not merely “confusion” or “transition” toward homosexuality.
Note: This heatmap is a visual simulation representing bilateral brain activity responding to multi-gender stimuli.
Key Takeaway
Science and statistics both affirm that:
Bisexuality is real, valid, and measurable
Bisexual men are not rare—they’re often just less visible due to societal pressures
Recognizing signs of bisexuality should be done through an informed, respectful lens
By incorporating research from Gallup, Pew, The Williams Institute, and neuroscience studies, we build a stronger, evidence-based foundation for understanding how to tell if a guy is bisexual.
Myths and Misconceptions About Bisexual Men
Even in today’s more inclusive climate, there are still many harmful myths and stereotypes surrounding bisexual men. These misconceptions not only misrepresent bisexuality but also contribute to the invisibility and invalidation of bisexual men in both straight and LGBTQ+ communities.
Let’s debunk some of the most common myths using data and authoritative sources like the American Psychological Association (APA) and major LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations.
Myth #1: “He’s just confused or going through a phase”
Reality: Bisexuality is a legitimate, stable sexual orientation.
According to the APA: “Bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation. It is not simply a transitional phase or a step toward being gay or lesbian.”
Many bisexual men remain openly bi throughout their lives, regardless of whom they date or marry.
Myth #2: “All bisexual men are into threesomes or open relationships”
Reality: Bisexuality refers to sexual orientation—not relationship style or sexual preferences. While some bisexual men may prefer non-monogamous arrangements, just like some straight or gay people do, many others prefer monogamous relationships.
Myth #3: “If he has a girlfriend, he must be straight”
Reality: A person’s current partner doesn’t define their sexual orientation.
As GLAAD states: “A bisexual man in a relationship with a woman is still bisexual.”
Sexuality is about who you’re attracted to, not necessarily who you're dating at the moment.
Myth #4: “Bisexual men are more likely to cheat”
Reality: There is no scientific evidence linking bisexuality to infidelity.This myth is rooted in the false idea that being attracted to more than one gender means a person can't commit. In reality, trust and fidelity are relationship qualities, not orientation traits.
Myth #5: “Bisexuality is less real than being gay or straight”
Reality: Bisexuality is just as real and valid.APA, GLAAD, and The Trevor Project all recognize bisexuality as a distinct and enduring sexual identity. It is not “half gay, half straight” or “undecided.”
Visual Aid: Common Myths vs. Reality Mind Map
To help break down these misconceptions, see the following visual mind map comparing popular myths with scientifically backed truths:
This chart is an excellent resource to share with friends, family, or even within educational settings to help normalize and support bisexual male identities.
How to Tell If a Guy Is Bisexual: Behavioral and Emotional Clues
When wondering how to tell if a guy is bisexual, it’s essential to approach the topic with empathy, not assumption. There’s no single “look” or behavior that defines bisexuality, but some clues may emerge over time:
He expresses attraction to multiple genders, even subtly.
He's open-minded about sexuality and identity discussions.
He has dated or shown interest in both men and women.
He talks positively about bisexuality or LGBTQ+ topics.
Importantly, bisexuality isn’t always “visible.” The most respectful way to know is to create a safe space for open, honest conversation—never pressuring or stereotyping.
Final Thoughts: Labels, Respect, and the Value of Openness
In the journey of understanding how to tell if a guy is bisexual, the most important takeaway is this: regardless of his orientation, respect is non-negotiable.
Sexuality is deeply personal and often fluid. Some men may confidently identify as bisexual, while others are still exploring their feelings or may never adopt a specific label—and that’s perfectly valid. Not everyone needs a clear, fixed identity to be authentic.
Creating a space of acceptance allows people to explore who they are without fear of judgment. Whether he identifies as bi, gay, straight, or somewhere in between, your role is to listen, support, and never push for labels that aren’t freely given.
Openness, patience, and compassion will always be more powerful than assumptions or pressure.
FAQs: Understanding Bisexual Men in Relationships
🟣 How do bisexual guys behave in a relationship?
Bisexual guys behave just like anyone else in relationships—with care, commitment, or complexity, depending on personality, not orientation. Being bisexual doesn’t mean they’re more likely to cheat or crave multiple partners. These are harmful stereotypes. Like everyone else, bisexual men want trust, communication, and emotional connection.
🟣 Can a guy be bi and still prefer women?
Yes. Bisexuality exists on a spectrum, and preferences can lean toward one gender while still involving genuine attraction to others. A bisexual guy may feel more romantically or sexually drawn to women, but that doesn't invalidate his bisexuality. Sexual orientation is about attraction, not mathematical equality.
🟣 Is it okay to ask a guy if he is bisexual?
It depends on your relationship and intention. If you're close, and the conversation is respectful and private, it may be okay. But never pressure someone to come out. The best approach is to create a safe space where he feels comfortable sharing—on his own terms. Respect is key when exploring how to tell if a guy is bisexual.
